Friday, January 3, 2014

Filled Under:

What No One Told Me About Buying My First Home


Follow on Facebook and Twitter.


 It will take you over two years of living in a small stuffy third floor apartment to save up a pitiful down payment that will place you in a home much smaller than you were hoping for.

Signing papers on a home will take much longer than expected, and the title representative will talk much faster than you thought, and by the time you are done you will wonder what the hell you just committed to.

For the first time in your life you will start to really pay attention to your neighbors. You will wonder if the twenty somethings renting the house across the street are dealing drugs simply because they look scary.

After a professional inspection, several personal tours, and a long list of conditional repairs given to the seller, you will spend the first few weeks in your new home noticing problems (broken doors, stained carpet, and missing molding).

Your furnace will break during an unusual cold snap, and you will be too broke to fix it because you spent all your savings on the down payment, so you will be without heat for almost two weeks until your home warranty claim is finally processed.

After living in cramped apartments for several years, your new home will seem like a palace with vaulted ceilings and a hallway that stretches on forever.

A few weeks after moving in the lawn will need to be mowed and you will need to buy a lawn mower, a light will go out in the garage and you will need to buy a ladder, and the closet door will break and you will need to by drill bits and attachments. Then you will check your bank account and wonder if you are really saving money by building equity.

When touring the home your wife will seem excited about the house and yard, making you assume that things are just right. However, once you move in she will hand you a comprehensive list of changes: swap out trees, paint rooms, add shelves…  

A few days after moving in your daughter will flush a paper cup down the toilet. Friends will advise you to remove the toilet from the floor so you can reach inside the toilet, with your bare hands, and remove the clog. You didn't know that home owners had this kind of commitment, and the thought of removing the toilet from the floor will make you nervous and nauseous. After consulting a plumber, you will buy a $30 toilet auger that will work like a charm. Later that night, you will tell your wife that the toilet auger was the best investment you ever made.

It will take you a few weeks to feel comfortable allowing your kids to play unsupervised in the fenced backyard. 

The first night you spend in your new home will feel very satisfying. 

You would also enjoy,


Follow on Facebook and Twitter.

Clint Edwards is a tutor coordinator at Oregon State University. He is also the former co-host of the Weekly Reader on KMSU and a graduate of the MFA program at Minnesota State University. His writing has been listed as notable by Best American Essays, and has been published in The Baltimore Review, and through The University of North Dakota, Boston College, Emerson College, The University of South Carolina, and Minnesota State University.