Friday, June 13, 2014

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Be The Person You Want To Marry- Guest Author Janie Hannan-Kearl


Every girl fantasizes about meeting that “perfect” guy. Prince Charming, of course, will be funny, well mannered, physically fit, stunningly handsome and just the perfect gentleman. Usually that bright fairly tale bursts and shatters into a million pieces, after a few boyfriends (or if you’re a guy, girlfriends). You may think that you’ll never find the perfect man or woman that you can marry. Automatically you assume it’s them and not you. Hmm, I’m going to say that ninety percent of the time you aren’t getting the kind of person you want to marry because you don’t have those same qualities.
            I had a, you could say, come to Jesus moment, one day while thinking about my future. But let me give you a quick run down on myself. Even though I grew up Mormon I wasn’t constantly day dreaming about my future husband. I didn’t date often, in fact, I didn’t even get kissed until I was twenty-one -ears old. It wasn’t because I never had the opportunity, I just never liked anyone that much. I’m a late bloomer, I guess. Anyway, after I started dating a little more I knew every guy I went out with wasn’t the guy I really wanted. Most of them partied, weren’t Mormon, and didn’t share in my values. When most of them heard I was saving myself for the man I would marry they ran for the hills. However, at the time I wasn’t the most straight laced Mormon either and one day it just hit me. After dating guys I knew weren’t for me, I realized I was attracting these kinds of guys because I was like them! I went to bars, I drank on occasion, and I wasn’t going to church. I wanted a guy who would marry me in the Mormon temple, who would wait for me, and who didn’t want to party. I wanted him to be caring, nice, fun and have goals for a bright future.
            As if God spoke to me Himself, a little voice came in my mind and asked, “Would the kind of guy you want, want you?” This thought that came into my mind was so right! This person wouldn’t want who I’d become. I certainly wouldn’t find him at the bar nor would the right guy be looking for me in a place like that. So I began to change things around and started to become the person I wanted to marry.
            I’m not going to say by some miracle I found my husband a week later, this is real life, not the movies. We met about a year later when I had a feeling to move back to Idaho, but that is a story for another time. If you’re searching for this person or are already married just keep in mind the qualities you wanted and be that for the other person. They deserve it just as much as you do. If you want your wife to do nice things for you then do nice things for her! If you want your husband to tell you that he loves you every day or to kiss you every day than kiss him, love him, show him you care and you’ll get those things in return, and if you don’t then you’re with the wrong person.
            I can tell you that becoming the person I wanted, I met someone who was even better than expected! We married nine months after we met and just had our two year anniversary in March. We were sealed in the Mormon temple on our one year anniversary, and we worked on getting there together. I love him even more than the day we married.
I hope this inspires someone.

I am Janie. I’m 27, happily married and living in Southeast Idaho. Full-time college student at Brigham Young University-Idaho, with too many interests which include: writing, reading, fitness, fashion, God, Jesus Christ, photography, family, horses, wisdom, food, and love. Not necessarily in that order. I blog at