Mel and I have been married just over 10 years. I will be honest, we have had some stupid arguments in the past decade. Here are a few of the whoppers.
We have fought over:
1. Why the baby woke up.
2. Why the dishes didn’t come clean in the dishwasher.
3. Why the car smells like a fart.
4. How the laundry should be folded.
5. Whose responsibility it is to water the Christmas tree.
6. Why there are boogers under the driver’s seat (usually this is my fault. I will admit it).
7. Who ate the last Oreo.
8. Who ate the last strip of bacon.
9. Who ate the last string cheese.
10. How long something can remain in the refrigerator before it becomes, “free game.”
11. Whether or not the animated movie we are watching features the voice of that guy we both like on Parks and Recreation, but can never remember his name.
12. Why the bed is not made.
13. Why we never play board games anymore.
14. Why we eat too much Taco Bell.
15. Why Taco Bell was out of Mild Sauce.
16. Whose turn it is to change the baby’s diaper.
17. Whose turn it is to give the children baths.
18. Why I always drive when we go places.
19. Who got more sleep when the children were sick.
20. Whether or not her feet make her look like a duck.
21. Whether or not my man-boobs jiggle when I clap.
22. Whether or not I snore.
23. Who clogged the toilet.
24. Who used the last strip of toilet paper.
25. Who loves the other more.
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Clint Edwards was blessed with a charming and spitfire wife, a video game obsessed little boy, a snarky little girl in a Cinderella play dress, and an angry baby girl. When Clint was 9-years-old his father left. With no example of fatherhood, he had to learn how to be a father and husband through trial and error. His work has been featured in Good Morning America, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Fast Company, and elsewhere. He lives in Oregon. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.