Monday, February 9, 2015

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11 CRAZIER things said while up in the night with a baby

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A while back I wrote a list of 14 crazy things I’ve said while up in the night with an 8-month old baby. Well… she’s not sleeping again, so I thought it might be appropriate to write another. Being sleep deprived has caused me to say some crazy things to my baby. I hope she will forgive me.

Just look at the stupid glowworm and shut your stupid eyes.

If you don’t stop kicking your legs I swear I’m getting the duct tape.

I’m going to get fired for falling asleep. Then your mother will leave me. Stop touching my face!

Stop biting me! You’re an animal!

Why are you wet there? That’s not normal.

It’s 2 a.m. Stop wiggling, you ass hole.

Now you’ve woken up your sister. Not making a lot of friends around here.

The stupid binky stays in your stupid mouth.

I have no idea where we are right now.

Don’t suck there. I’m not built for that.

Stop being cute. It makes it harder for me to be mad at you.

What are some of the crazy things you’ve said to your baby when up in the night?

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Clint Edwards was blessed with a charming and spitfire wife, a video game obsessed little boy, a snarky little girl in a Cinderella play dress, and an angry baby girl. When Clint was 9-years-old his father left. With no example of fatherhood, he had to learn how to be a father and husband through trial and error. His work has been featured in Good Morning America, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, The Good Men Project, Fast Company, and elsewhere. He lives in Oregon. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.