Tuesday, June 23, 2015

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16 Ridiculous things my children have argued about

I have three kids (1, 5, and 8). The two oldest argue about some really ridiculous crap. I regularly think, “I sent my kids to their rooms over that…”

Here are a few examples.

1.    Whether or not one can smell the other’s fart.

2.     If spiders can defy gravity.

3.     Who has cooler underwear.

4.     Who has the biggest butt.

5.     Who the baby loves the most.

6.     If Big Bird is a boy or girl.

7.     Who owns the house, Mom or Dad.

8.     Why the baby cries.

9.     Why the baby poops in the tub.

10. If the baby speaks a secret language.

11. If Blue (Blue’s Clues) is a boy or girl.

12. Why dad gets to walk around the living room in his underwear.

13. Which is cooler, Minecraft or Frozen (both are terrible in my opinion).

14. How old you have to be to drive a car.

15. Who has the biggest butt, Mom or Dad (I was the chosen victor).

16. Who they love most, Mom or Dad (I lost that one).

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Clint Edwards was blessed with a charming and spitfire wife, a video game obsessed little boy, a snarky little girl in a Cinderella play dress, and an angry baby girl. When Clint was 9-years-old his father left. With no example of fatherhood, he had to learn how to be a father and husband through trial and error. His work has been featured in Good Morning AmericaThe New York TimesThe Washington PostThe Huffington PostScary MommyThe Good Men ProjectFast Company, and elsewhere. He lives in Oregon. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter.   


David said...

Ahh, yes. I remember those days.

One strategy that has worked for me (especially as they aged beyond about 8 years old) was to enforce a "no fighting in the house" rule. This meant that whenever an argument broke out, both parties would be banished to the yard until they could demonstrate to me that they were no longer fighting (usually by hugging each other). No toys or electronics could go with them. They could not stop to put on shoes or jackets. Raining? - I don't care. I've even been known to banish my wife along with one of our children.

It only takes 2 or 3 times per child before they learn to instantly stop arguing when you bring it up. If I'm over the top about it, they usually start giggling before they get out the door.