Monday, June 8, 2015

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Never Enough Time- Guest Author Toni Hammer

I grew up watching Saved By the Bell and in a moment of cinematic history, Jesse Spano is caught taking what is essentially speed to help her stay awake to get everything done she feels she needs to get done. In the climax she says something along the lines of, “There’s no time! There’s never enough time!”

And that is exactly how I feel about my life right now.

How much time do I spend cleaning my house?

Not enough.

How much time do I spend playing with my kids?

Not enough.

How much time do I spend investing in my marriage?

Not enough.

How much time do I spend working, writing, and doing special things for me?

Not enough.

I’m not sure if it’s merely a season of life or if it is life itself. It feels like if I only had three or four more hours in the day, I could get it all done. But the fact is the day could be 100 hours long and there would still always be something to do. Laundry, vacuuming, writing, teaching my kids to build the best Mega Blocks tower ever, reading every book that sits collecting virtual dust on my Kindle. There’s just never enough time and there’s never going to be.

While that thought is daunting and potentially depressing, I choose to look at it from a different angle. I choose to find peace within the “not enough.” If I go into a day knowing I won’t be able to do everything I want to get done, then I can be free of having to do it all. It’s when I think I have to get it all done that I feel the walls of despair closing in on me with overwhelming force.

If I choose to look at the list of chores, the activities to do with my kids, the never ending list of blog posts to write and marketing stuff to be done… if I choose to look at it through the lens of, “I can’t get it all done, but I can get some of it done,” I’m free of the self-inflicted chains which once bound me to not having enough time. Not being good enough to get it all done.

Instead of ending my days thinking, “I didn’t spend enough time doing…” I’m going to start saying, “I spent just the right amount of time doing…” and hope the head knowledge of that statement begins to grow in my heart and i can sleep peacefully only to wake up to a new day; a new day filled with my children, a roof over my head, and food in my fridge. That is more than enough for me.

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Toni Hammer never planned on having kids, but she’s now a stay-at-home mom to Lillian and Levi who were born 355 days apart because the universe has an awesome sense of humor  She chronicles her mommy misadventures at Is It Bedtime Yet? and a book of the same name is being pitched to publishers right this very second. She’s a Scary Mommy contributor, freelancer for Babble, Huffington Post blogger, and expert Top Chef watcher. If you’re a fellow social media addict, you can find her trying to be funny on Facebook and Twitter. She loves food she doesn’t have to cook, and drowns her mommy guilt in copious amounts of coffee and Diet Coke.